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Hello America. You may remember all the way back to a whole two months ago when I was the Managing Editor of VH1’s Best Week Ever blog. Back then, in the distant past, I would call up my dear mother Judy and secretly transcribe her musings on whatever Real Housewives of You Name It episode had aired the evening beforehand. I would then, without her knowledge or permission, post these brilliant recaps on the blog, and then exit the MTV building hoisted on the shoulders of various executives. It was an exciting time for everyone.

But since taking a new job as a producer and “civilian panelist” on the new Kathy Griffin talk show Kathy on Bravo (airing Thursday night’s at 10!), I haven’t had the time or medium to get my mother’s precious recaps to you, the bored in your cubicle or wherever you pretend to work public.

Until today.

Given the absolute hilarity of last night’s The Real Housewives of New York premiere, I just knew I had to call up Mom and see what she had to say about it, specifically the three new cast members, Carole Radziwill, Aviva Drescher, and the founder of Yummie Tummie and possible Rocko’s Modern Life bit player, Heather Thomson.

You’ve waited for it, and here it is: My Mother’s Recap Of The Real Housewives of New York.

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